


Phoenix Reborn (2011)

by JennyB



Series: Lent 2011 [34]
Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: Angst, Gen, Lent Challenge 2011, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suzaku learns a little bit about Touda - and about herself in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phoenix Reborn (2011)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laurose8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurose8/gifts).



> Written for Lent Challenge 2011. Prompt: Being a phoenix, reconciling with Touda.

“Defend yourself, Touda!” Her crimson lips curved down in a fierce snarl, Suzaku raised her sword and came at the other shikigami, fully prepared to teach the snake god a lesson for his treachery. She readied herself to strike, only to let out an infuriated roar when her attack was not only parried, but she found herself so quickly disarmed. And, as if to add insult to injury, while her weapon skittered across the ground and came to rest some distance from them, Touda turned his back on her and began to walk away. “Where do you think you’re going, snake?” she hissed as she quickly retrieved her blade. “I’m not finished with you yet!”

“You’re beginning to bore me, Suzaku. It’s the same thing every day; I don’t wish to fight you, and yet you can’t seem to let the past die like this tired desire you have for vengeance.”

Suzaku’s eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, her fiery temper getting the better of her in light of his curt dismissal. “You're one to talk! Tell me something, did you enjoy hurting him?” A self-satisfied smirk curved her painted lips upward when she saw the way his step faltered slightly and she hurried to catch up to him, coming in front of him and pointing her sword at him aggressively. “Well?”

“I did what I was asked. No more, no less.”

She snorted contemptuously. “But did you enjoy it? Turning your fangs against your master?”

He regarded her for a long time in silence, his expression somber. “He asked me to kill him, and so I obeyed. My own personal feelings had nothing to do with my compliance. My loyalty to Tsuzuki is absolute and I follow his commands without question, without debate.” He cocked his head to the side slightly. “You, too, are his guardian, and yet you question his authority all the time. What gives you the right to decide what you should obey? He commands you, Suzaku. It’s not the other way around… _Nee-san_ ,” he added with a slight sneer.

Her mouth hung open slightly in shock as he challenged her own fealty, her indignation over the accusation only riling her up further. “Protecting him is a shiki’s primary obligation!” she shrieked. “If you cared at all about anyone, you would know that, Touda!” She snorted in disgust. “Why he would ever choose to align himself with a self-serving, soulless creature such as you is beyond me!”

To be honest, Touda didn't have an answer, either. He exhaled heavily, almost as if he’d sighed, the corners of his mouth curving downwards just a little more. “How very pious you are sitting on your lofty perch in judgement of me, Suzaku. You’re quick to condemn me, and in your ignorance, you and the others accuse rather than try to understand." He smiled coldly. "But it’s easier to point fingers, isn’t it? How it must grate that one of the _guilty_ walks among you; that I'm equal to you in his eyes.” His expression turned slightly bitter. “You think I relished the idea of killing him?" He snorted, a small plume of smoke coming from one of his nostrils. "I know that if I'd succeeded, I'd have been sent back to Tenku, and yet I still obeyed. We both know that it's only because of Tsuzuki that I’m free. Without him to command me, I'd be returned to my prison for the rest of eternity. I owe him a great debt; one you couldn’t possibly begin to understand.”

“I’m not an idiot, Touda! You can justify your actions all you want, but I know that your heart and your soul are as black as the flames you control. Nothing you can say will ever convince me that you were acting on his behalf, nor will I ever forgive you for what you’ve done.”

Touda shook his head a little. “No, you’re not an idiot, but you’re pathetically naïve. Your worldview is skewed because of what you are, and having never had to atone for a mistake, you impose your morality on those around you.”

“I’ve made mistakes, Touda, but what you did went too far!”

Ignoring the way she was glaring at him, he shrugged. “You’re a phoenix, Suzaku. You can burn everything and rise from the ashes, reborn and forgiven, to start fresh. Me? I’m just a snake. I don’t get the luxury of second chances. The courtesy of forgiveness is not extended to me." He regarded her thoughtfully. "Even now, am I truly free? They cut my hair to limit my strength. I wear this visor to inhibit my power. My memories have been altered.” He glanced at the lotus tattoo on his shoulder, a reminder of his elusive past. "I bear the stigma for a crime I can no longer remember, and your unwavering contempt ensures I'll never be able to forget."

Her anger remained, but her voice lost its accusatory tone. "Asking a phoenix to forgive is like asking a snake to love - it's just not in our nature."

He was quiet for a long time. “I would never ask you to forgive me; it's wasted idealism. But you don't know me, Suzaku. Tsuzuki is...important to me. He was the first person who ever saw me as deserving of a second chance. I wanted to help free him the way he freed me. I know it’s hard to live while bound by chains, especially the ones that are self-made like Tsuzuki's.”

Her eyes narrowed sharply and she studied the man in front of her as if trying to determine his sincerity. Perhaps, in some twisted way, Touda really did love Tsuzuki. After all, he'd been willing to sacrifice his own freedom - the thing he coveted most - and face an eternity of imprisonment in order to help their master. "Maybe there are rare exceptions." Smirking enigmatically, she sheathed her sword. "Don't make me regret thinking so, Touda."


End file.
